Is this feeling ever going to leave?
Is my heart always gonna sink when someone mentions the word family?
When you learn to live with people who maybe your blood relatives, but when they’ve never acted like a family, you learn a lot of things. Things like how sometimes you just have to be your own hero, sometimes you can’t trust anyone because they let you down, how home is never an option for you, how home will never feel like home for you, the fact that you learn to trust other people more than you can trust your own damn “family.”
Home is just a concept we’ve built in our minds, all that shit about how nothing feels like home or there’s no place like home etc. And don’t ever for the love of God ever tell someone that family will always be there or you can always trust your siblings and parents. Because you may come from a good family but not everyone does you know. They’ve never felt safe in their own “home” they’ve never been happy, they might someday but maybe they won’t.
My point being a family isn’t everything anymore. We learn to live with ourselves.
-Stuff that makes me feel alone, more than it ever has.